The queen had tooted
Cut the cheese
(Baser Englishmen say “fahted”)
In the midst of dignitaries
The prince ignored it
The princess smirked
The duke did raise his voice a bit
But journalists then went to work
The Sun exposed it
The Mirror spread it
The BBC skirted around it
But every person soon had read it
Comics chortled
Pundits stressed
(Some blamed a lax rear guard)
The palace PR blamed the chef
The kitchen stewed with accusation
Recipes were reassessed
The cooks left on a long vacation
Balls were canceled
Tea was late
Crumpets were all crisp and crumbly
Ambassadors became irate
“Let it blow over”
Some did suggest
Her majesty wryly replied
“That's what got us in this mess”
But some new scandal came around
The queen's faux poo was soon forgotten
Peace returned to England's crown
And so did baked au gratin
Shaking my head with delight. Cliff, you make me chortle.
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